Oh, hi there! I’m glad you found this. Why? Why would I welcome you to THIS post, specifically? If you’re here, it’s likely because you are an extrovert seeking to better understand your introverted friend. Your introvert bestie. The introvert you “adopted”, as my friend calls it. Or, perhaps, you are an introvert who likes to read my introvert coaching blog posts and think this might be helpful to pass along to your extroverted friend? Regardless, I’m glad you’re here. This is an important subject for introverted women and the extroverts who have adopted them. So, to you, dear extrovert, I say “welcome”. Let’s get into it.
I’m an introvert. And, I love myself for it!
As an introvert, specifically a sensitive introvert, I know there are some things that make us unique. Special. So valuable as a friend. And, perhaps confusing and frustrating at times. Yep. I’ll say it. I’ll own the introvert problems you may be struggling with! Because, unlike other empowerment coaches, I’m not going to ask sensitive, introverted women to change. That’s a doomed social trap the world wants us to fall into. But, it’s simply unnecessary. Instead, I urge introverts to embrace the things that make them special. To voice what they want and need, honoring their introversion. It’s a magical gift that I am sure you have experienced the rewards from! So, extrovert bestie, this one’s for you.
A few things your introverted friend wants you to know:
Introverts value quality over quantity.
So, we are more likely to have a small social circle of people we see on occasion. Perhaps even for small periods of time. So, keep that in mind, as it affects all facets of life. Every sense of the spectrum. Even in where we choose to spend our time. But, especially with whom! I don’t want to socialize for the sake of socializing. I value and put weight into every interaction. Let’s go deep! Random talk, small talk, etc. sucks. Like, where are we going with this? That’s what I’m thinking when I get stuck in those conversations. Thank you SO much for not making me do that. I’d much rather KNOW you. You know?
Going out is exhausting for introverts.
You’ve heard about the social battery, right? For you, people charge that battery. For me, people drain it. So, practically speaking, that means I might change my mind about going out last minute without a reason. Well, at least not more of a reason than that. I don’t want to have to lie about it. Can we just establish that now? While we’re on that topic, I need time to plan. So, please no last-minute plans. No, “let’s go in 5-mins.”, “Be ready in an hour.” No spontaneous ideas, please. It’s too much. Too overwhelming and paralyzing. I want to have fun! Don’t get me wrong, but our definitions of fun may look very different. So, let’s talk about it in advance and come up with something that works well for us both?
Super small gatherings or 1:1 time is best for sensitive, introverted women!
I’m so excited to see you. Our time together is precious to me, and I look forward to it. Truly. Specifically, I’m looking forward to the time with YOU. Staying in or going out (see above), the part I am most interested in is our time together. Not seeing and being seen. Not doing the latest, greatest, trendiest thing. But, I will do some of these things in order to see you! However, there are definitely things I would love to avoid. For example, big crowds and gatherings of assorted friends. So, can we celebrate your birthday on a different date? Separately from your big dinner or party. It’s not that I don’t want to be there to honor you, it’s that I want to be with you in a more personal way. More quality, less quantity.
Peopleing is Exhausting. Again, I’m an introvert. It’s not for me.
Okay, so we may have to be in big groups sometimes. Weddings, parties, events, celebrations, etc. I get it. So, I may need you to be my “social wing-person”. Can you please go with me for support? I don’t really want to go by myself. It’s incredible how quickly I can feel totally alone and isolated in a room full of people. Having you there would be an amazing touchstone for me. Grounding. Speaking of how exhausting peopleing is, I’m going to make one last request before wrapping this up. Please don’t randomly invite other people to our plans…especially without talking with me first and giving me time to re-process and prepare. I know you probably want your amazing friends to meet and love each other as much as you love us (right?), but I would love for this to be more of a conversation if possible.
LEARN MORE ABOUT THE RADICAL INTROVERT COACHING PROGRAM
Thank you. Thank you for reading this. For being such an amazing friend to your introverted friend! The biggest takeaway is to start the conversation. We can even keep the conversation going here! What else have you noticed about your sensitive, introverted friends? If you’re the sensitive, introvert reading this, what else would you add? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!
As an experienced therapist and sensitive introvert, I am uniquely able to help support sensitive introverted women all over the world. Whether you are in Florida, California, Texas, Washington, North Carolina, Oregon, Missouri, South Carolina, somewhere else in the United States, Canada, or even the United Kingdom and beyond…I want to help you THRIVE. To get started: